Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Broken Fantasy

You were my dream
The one I couldn't wait to one day wake up to as reality 
We'd make the perfect team
Or so it may seem
I loved what others hated 
Maybe you're bitter
But I'm not a quitter 
And neither are you
I saw a spark
Or maybe it was just too dark
To see it was nothing but a glare
Just a stupid dare
What I hoped I saw in your eyes 
Has caused the brokenness in mine
I was okay with the wait 
But maybe this was destined to be our fate 
We went too far
You were my star
In the darkness that consumed 
My running away loomed 
I guess I'm doomed 
I thought I could stay put
I've been holding on to this fantasy
But its costing me my sanity 
Maybe I'll never get 
I'm just not meant to fit
I'm meant to run away
I was never made to stay
I guess it's time to run
This race hasn't even begun

Monday, April 20, 2015

Real for Me

Maybe you're real
Maybe your not
The lies I keep saying
To reason my continuous staying
On the line
On the fence
My confusion just doesn't make sense
I want it
I do with all my heart
But my fear keeps tearing it apart
I know it's true
I always have
But is it for me
Could you truly accept me
The mess that I am
How I am just a sham
The things I have yet to confess
Maybe for a while you would take me in
But eventually you would see all my sin
Then you would leave
Just like I believe
like everyone before
breaking my heart even more
Or maybe I cannot accept myself
I don't deserve this
I know the truth but I'm stuck on my faults
I need to let you into the vaults
Of my heart
It's caving in
I don't want the demons to win
Not again

Sunday, April 19, 2015

The Key

The key to unlock me it seems
Maybe this deems
Me to insanity
My misunderstanding of humanity
I wish I could express
These feelings I need to address
Or more really repress
How do I destroy this
Deploy this
A bomb to my own heart
If only I could've killed this from the start
Now I can't help but fall apart
Grown too deep
Secret I can no longer keep
My smile reveals all
This strong tower is soon to fall
Shattered by this devastating squall

Monday, April 6, 2015

Finally

Finally I've been released from your clutch
Finally away from your touch
Finally free from this strife
Finally away from your destructive life
Finally the tables have turned 
Finally I seem to have learned 

Monday, March 23, 2015

Over Before We Began

A word from you can change my day
From resisting to let out the sobs of tears
To a slight smile dancing across my lips

No it's not perfect and theres still pain
But somehow you have managed to help me stay sane

I love the little things you do without notice
How can you not see
You know you truly know me

Every unspoken word
When my vision becomes blurred

When this all seems absurd

You're there holding my hand
Right there helping me stand

My most prominent fear
That if you find out my feelings dear

We would be over before we began

Monday, March 2, 2015

Still Beating

Broken and shattered
My heart surely is tattered
The stabs and jabs
Darts continually thrown
They have stripped me down to the bone
It should be defective
But it still beats
Well thats subjective
Maybe it is ineffective
But I'm still alive
After each and every jiving effort to break me
I'm proud of its lasting rhythm
It didn't give in when the world made it it's victim

26.10.2018

This is my heart the inner part that nobody sees that could be shattered by a breeze but would keep silent to avoid getting violent bu...