Thoughts

Sometimes I'm bored 

Sometimes I'm not

Sometimes I'm just consumed with though

The thought of you

The thought of me

Whatever we could be

Well whatever it is

I'm up till late 

Please sedate

This wild beast

On you it feast 

I want to sleep

I'm done with counting sheep

Sleepless

Checking the feed 

Checking the phone

No ones up

Only me

As I close my eyes to fall asleep

All I see is you

I wish to be dreaming

But My thoughts are steaming

This is a hopeless mission

I Cover my head

Curl up in bed

Now Banging my head

Restless

So once again 

Checking the feed

Checking the phone

I guess I'm just all alone 

My heart sinks

But I suppose that's what everyone thinks

Now please brain let me sleep

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Home. 

That's what you are to me. 

Broken Fantasy

You were my dream

The one I couldn't wait to one day wake up to as reality 

We'd make the perfect team

Or so it may seem

I loved what others hated 

Maybe you're bitter

But I'm not a quitter 

And neither are you

I saw a spark

Or maybe it was just too dark

To see it was nothing but a glare
Just a stupid dare

What I hoped I saw in your eyes 

Has caused the brokenness in mine

I was okay with the wait 

But maybe this was destined to be our fate 

We went too far

You were my star

In the darkness that consumed 

My running away loomed 

I guess I'm doomed 

I thought I could stay put

I've been holding on to this fantasy

But its costing me my sanity 

Maybe I'll never get 

I'm just not meant to fit
I'm meant to run away

I was never made to stay
I guess it's time to run
This race hasn't even begun

Real for Me

Maybe you're real
Maybe your not
The lies I keep saying
To reason my continuous staying
On the line
On the fence
My confusion just doesn't make sense
I want it
I do with all my heart
But my fear keeps tearing it apart
I know it's true
I always have
But is it for me
Could you truly accept me
The mess that I am
How I am just a sham
The things I have yet to confess
Maybe for a while you would take me in
But eventually you would see all my sin
Then you would leave
Just like I believe
like everyone before
breaking my heart even more
Or maybe I cannot accept myself
I don't deserve this
I know the truth but I'm stuck on my faults
I need to let you into the vaults
Of my heart
It's caving in
I don't want the demons to win
Not again

The Key

The key to unlock me it seems
Maybe this deems
Me to insanity
My misunderstanding of humanity
I wish I could express
These feelings I need to address
Or more really repress
How do I destroy this
Deploy this
A bomb to my own heart
If only I could've killed this from the start
Now I can't help but fall apart
Grown too deep
Secret I can no longer keep
My smile reveals all
This strong tower is soon to fall
Shattered by this devastating squall

Finally

Finally I've been released from your clutch

Finally away from your touch

Finally free from this strife

Finally away from your destructive life

Finally the tables have turned 

Finally I seem to have learned