Locked Away

I can't seem to find the words to say.
I get all tongue tied it just won't go away.
The explosion of my mind in the solitude of silence. 
All my thoughts planned out.
Your reaction I imagined without a doubt.
Approaching you has a different effect.
Everything seems to redirect.
My mind and heart work separate from my mouth,
the words needed never seem to come out.
I put up a strong front, but have forgotten how to take it down. 
The me you see is only a reflection.
My wall points you in a different direction,
than the truth that is hidden away.
When you find out I wonder what you'll say.
Everything within me, shoved behind doors.
Locked away.
I have lost the key.
I guess they'll stay.